It’s Good to Have Siblings

My mother planned to have four children and, Anglophile that she is, name them Elizabeth and Margaret (after the British princesses) and Thomas and Edward. Well, after she had Elizabeth, Thomas, and Edward, she had no energy left for Margaret, so I never had a sister (boo hoo).

When we were kids, I thought my younger brothers, Tom and Ted, were subhuman particles. They swore that I had “cooties” and kept a “No Girls Allowed” sign on their bedroom door for many years. We had little in common as children, and “the boys” fought constantly. Still, our parents made sure that we spent lots of time together as a family: skating, skiing, and all summers were spent at our camp at Lake W. It was a simple place with no TV, no phone, and no car during the week while our father was at work. I know that we all had fun playing together in boats and in the water while we were away from our friends. As adults, we lived far from each other and enjoyed somewhat infrequent get-togethers, rarely with all three of us attending.

Eventually, aging parents and the issues that arise caused more frequent communication among the three of us. The death of our father, putting Mom in a nursing home, emptying and selling our childhood home, all brought us closer together. I can’t even imagine how hard all of these tasks must be for an only child.

Now, as older adults, we get together when we choose to do so. Our parents are no longer the center of these events. Much to my delight, we actually appreciate each other and our spouses and have a great time. Of course, we can still push each other’s buttons with some good-natured teasing. After our son’s wedding in Seattle, we all went on an Alaska cruise. The boys and their wives did action/adventure excursions. My husband and I did not, but we all played trivia as a team before we ate dinner together every night and shared our experiences of the day.

Just recently, we met in Maryland to celebrate a big birthday for Tom. My brother Ted and sister-in-law Joyce graciously hosted the weekend at their newly renovated Chesapeake Bay house. We even had a matrix of activities that kept us very busy. I tried to keep up with the action/adventure boys: sailing, kayaking, biking, and my skinned knee healed quickly afterwards. We also played pool and toured a maritime museum, and shared some old age jokes. We all got along, and I truly had fun being with my brothers. At any stage in life, but especially this one, it’s good to have siblings.

My Brothers, the Subhuman Particles