The Ballad of the Frugal Man

He seldom ate out; no Starbucks for him.
To save on hot water, he showered at the gym.
He never gave gifts or offered to pay.
He only spent money when there was no other way.

He saved and he saved; every dime, every penny.
He begrudgingly paid taxes; his assets were many.
He had two Florida condos where he never spent time.
He had IRAs and CDs, nothing subprime.

He grew his own veggies, and what he couldn’t eat,
He canned or he froze in containers so neat.
He never borrowed nor would he lend.
He went to bed early—no time for a friend.

He got up at four and was in bed by eight.
Movies or dances would be much too late.
No travel, no golf, no country club crowd,
His penny-wise life made him feel very proud.

His home was well-kept and thriftily small.
It was clean and spare—not showy at all.
His wife kept a good home; she didn’t complain.
She cooked all the veggies. She stayed calm and sane.

He hoarded some things from his family’s estate:
Some stamps and some coins and silver plate.
He never enjoyed them; he hid them away.
He thought they just might be worth money some day.

He worked very hard; he watched every penny.
His wishes were few; his needs were not many.
And when he retired, he stayed in his home,
Just counting his money like a miserly gnome.

When the Grim Reaper came, the frugal man wept:
“My money’s not spent. You can’t take me yet.”
The Grim Reaper saw every dollar and dime.
“You haven’t run out of money, but you’ve run out of time.”

He kept all his money til the day that he died.
It went to his wife who had slept at his side.
She took a vacation from worries and cares.
She spent all his money on hotels and air fares.

The lesson to learn from the frugal man’s life
Is to enjoy all your money and have fun with your wife.
If it wasn’t so sad, it would almost be funny.
You can’t take it with you. It is only money.

8/3/11