Sad to say, I have a bad case of FOMO; it is both chronic and severe. I recently learned from some young friends of mine that FOMO is Fear Of Missing Out: that terrible feeling that your friends are out having a good time, and you are sitting at home, bored and lonely. We have probably all experienced FOMO at one time or another without knowing it had a name.
It all goes back to my high school days. I was forced by my parents to attend Sunday school, church, and Pilgrim Fellowship every Sunday. Add to that a traditional Sunday dinner after church which involved the dining room, the good china and silver, a pork loin or leg of lamb, and me doing all the dishes. Meanwhile, my good Catholic friends went to 5 o’clock mass on Saturday and were free as the breeze on Sunday to sleep late then stroll around town together while boys in cars would drive by. By the time I was free, it was after two and, try as I might, I could not track them down in pre-cell phone days. So I had no other choice but to go to my room and do homework and think murderous thoughts about my parents. Not that I’m bitter, oh, no. It was acute teenage FOMO.
When I was teaching and spending my Sundays trapped in the dining room grading papers, I suffered from FOMO once again. I managed to convince myself that everyone I knew was out enjoying the day—going to museums, taking walks, seeing movies, or having fun in some way without me. Gnashing my teeth, I slogged on through my work. FOMO, FOMO, FOMO.
Now that I’m retired, I hardly have a reason to miss out on pleasant pastimes. But when I think about packing up and going to Florida--and I know how lucky I am to spend the winter in Florida--I start to think about all the parties and holiday gatherings up North that I will miss. Bah Humbug! FOMO strikes again. My daughter and her family are moving into a new house a few weeks after we leave, and I’d love to help. FOMO. My high school friends have a Christmas get together in Massachusetts that I never get to attend. FOMO. It’s not that what I’m doing is bad; it’s good. It’s just that I hate to miss out on anything.
When my grandson stayed at our house in August, he did not want to nap or go to bed. He cried and cried when his mother put him upstairs in the crib. I think I know why. He didn’t want to miss out on what everyone else was doing downstairs while he was stuck in a room upstairs. FOMO. Apparently it’s hereditary.
5 comments:
Interesting and revealing, Beth. and here we were all jealous that you were traveling, visiting your children and grandson, and wintering in The Pines of Clark Gable with your Man. Just shows how mistaken one can be. But honestly, since I am alone most of the time these days, I rarely think about what others are doing anymore. It's all lightyears away from my life. I just read a book, do the dishes and go to bed so I can replenish my energy to go chase the little ones around again the next day. I have many fears, but FOMO is no longer one of them.
It is wonderful and rare to find happiness from within. Henry David Thoreau at Walden Pond had that kind of contentment. My former neighbors, the Gagnons also seemed self-contained. They enjoyed being at home, making dandelion wine and acorn muffins. I can learn from all of you.
Yes I know what you mean. I used to feel the same way, but now I only feel that way on the Fourth of July when "everybody else" is watching fireworks. Bob doesn't like fireworks so we never go watch them. THat's when I FOMO.
Oddly, I find that sometimes I have FOBI, Fear of Being Included, particularly in the case of highly repetitive events hosted by people I don't really like. It's complicated by my FOMO (what if it's really fun this time?), but I'm getting over it. Now I'm feeling some FOBR, since this comment may Be Ridiculous. However, I think Eli is incredibly lucky to have a grandmother who understands him!
Gentle Blogger, I love the idea of FOBI! I can't say I've had it, but some of my friends expressed a similar sentiment when I told them about FOMO. We came up with PAMO for Pleased About Missing Out. But I like FOBI better because it sounds as if it's related to phobia. It is in no way ridiculous.
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