I think that solitude is the glue that holds my life together. I don’t mean solitary confinement or life on a deserted island. I mean the quiet 10 minutes in the morning while I enjoy a second cup of coffee before starting the day or taking a walk by myself or just lying in bed thinking before I fall asleep. It’s nice to be alone and uninterrupted with ones thoughts. In fact, how can we formulate thoughts if we are never alone?
Thoreau had three chairs in his house at Walden Pond: “one for solitude, two for friendship, and three for society.” He also wrote that he “never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” I always find Thoreau to be a wise companion.
When I was in college, I spent two and a half months traveling around Europe visiting friends who studied abroad. I don’t think I was alone for one minute during that time. I stayed with friends in their dorm rooms or digs or in youth hostel bunk rooms. The lack of solitude and privacy definitely took its toll. At one point I went to see the movie Dr. Zhivago with a friend. I remember sobbing throughout the movie at the sad parts. It was wonderful to have an excuse for a much-needed emotional release.
I am a Libra, and I need balance in my life. Too much solitude would be very lonely, but not enough is exhausting as well. I like having company for dinner or even for a week as long as it is balanced out with time alone. My husband plays golf on MWF, and I play golf on TTH. It just worked out that way, but it gives both of us a little solitary time each week. As retirees, we need that.
According to James Russell Lowell, “Solitude is as needful to the imagination as society is wholesome to the character.” Time alone to create, envision, and plan is necessary to move forward and make changes. On the other hand, socializing with others often brings the best ideas for recipes, good books, travel, and just how we live our lives. We may stay in a rut if we never venture out into society. So society inspires us, and solitude lets us reflect and react. Balance is the key. I’m probably not alone in feeling this way.
How do you balance socializing with solitude, my friends?
2 comments:
I always think of you as very social, a real Miss Congeniality, since you're so gracious and welcoming. It's good to know that you value re-charge time, too. The day after I read your post, we were walking around in Carrara, and I said to Mike, I'll do the shopping, why don't you hang out and have a coffee instead? Ahhh, a little alone time for each of us. It felt nice, thanks!
I guess absence DOES make the heart grow fonder.
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