What to Expect from Your 60 Year Old

Now that your big person has turned 60 and is officially a senior, she may be a little sensitive to remarks about her age. So if she gets cranky when you refer to her as old, please be understanding. Here is what to expect in her 60th year:

Memory. She can remember every word to all of the songs the Beatles ever wrote, but she cannot remember where you said you were going on vacation last week.

Development. She may be able to make an intricate lattice-work pie crust, but she may fumble and cut you off while answering her cell phone.

Socializing. She socializes well with her peers, especially long-time friends. They may engage in parallel talking instead of actual conversation. All social events center on eating and drinking.

Diet. She is able to eat all types of food but may get indigestion from the spiciest ones. Avoid Mexican and Indian food when planning meals for her.

Math Ability. She can double any recipe in her head but cannot figure out how to divide a restaurant tab with three other women.

Exercise and Sleep. She should be able to take long walks, play golf, and shop all day. She may require 8-9 hours of sleep each night, but is not quite ready for afternoon naps. Of course, nodding off in front of the TV in the evening is perfectly normal for her age.