What's a "Man Bun?"

I love learning new words and phrases as they pop up every year.  What follows are words, slang, and invented expressions that are all NEW TO ME although you may have heard them long ago. 

From a CBS News Sunday Morning Show, I learned about “wardrobing.”  It means buying an article of clothing, wearing it once, and then returning it to the store.  I would never do that, but I have bought things that I wore only once and then let take up valuable space in my closet for years.  The segment was actually about stores that have ridiculously lenient return policies like LL Bean, Land’s End, and Nordstrom.  Most people don’t abuse these policies because of something called the “endowment effect.”  It means "losses loom larger than gains."  Returning something to the store feels like a loss, and while there, you may buy something else.

Another new expression is “man bun.”  Perhaps you have seen a server or cook in a restaurant with long hair who wears it up in a bun on the top of his head to keep it neat.  This hair style is definitely for under-age-35 guys only.

I learned some Spanish words this year: “jicama” is a Mexican yam and “pepitas” are pumpkin seeds.  I found these words on menus now that many restaurants have full disclosure of all ingredients.  I always ask the server or google unknown ingredients ever since an unfortunate encounter with anchovies on a pizza in Italy.

“Despacito” means slowly.  I heard the song “Despacito” many times in Zumba class before I investigated its meaning.  It’s a catchy Spanish tune with sexy lyrics written and sung originally by Luis Fonsi and featuring rapper Daddy Yankee.  Many versions of this popular song exist, but check out a very funny parody by Mikey Bustos called “I Wear a Speedo.”

“Language agnostic” came up in a television segment on videos gone viral.  It means that a cute kid is a cute kid in any language, and the same appeal works for animals.  So the popularity of a Youtube video can quickly spread around the world.   This was illustrated by a video of a rat carrying a slice of pizza down the subway stairs titled “a New York City moment.”

A panini is a sandwich pressed on a warming grill while a “Heinie-inni” is a sandwich flattened by accidentally sitting on it.  This often occurs in a golf cart when eating lunch while playing golf.  Thanks, Bonnie S., for coining this unappetizing but memorable term.

Finally, one from the grandkids: “Hangry.”  Hungry + angry = hangry.  When one is so hungry that he becomes angry, this is the expression to use.  Fortunately, a quick bite to eat usually dissipates the problem.

If you are still reading at this point, what new words have YOU learned this year?

A Seinfeld Episode

We were going to a St. Patrick’s Day dinner at Carol and Tommy’s at 5pm.  Shortly before we left, Fred called from next door and offered us a ride.  I was reluctant, having made a vow never again to ride in cars driven by men in their 80s based on past bad experiences, but I figured that even Fred couldn’t get in trouble on a two-mile drive. 

When we got to Fred’s car, he and Lou were waiting with the doors open.  Fred was talking loudly into his cell phone apparently giving directions to someone.  We got in the car, and Lou informed us that Fred’s crony Ron was lost trying to get to Carol’s house. 

It soon became apparent from the voice coming through the blue tooth that Ron had gone past Indian Springs where Carol lives and was trying to get back from another direction.  Fred did not know exactly where Ron was, yet he was still trying to help him while driving us to the same place.  Adding to the confusion was the fact that Fred did not know how to get there either. However, this did not stop him from trying to give directions.  Now both men have been to Carol and Tommy’s numerous times, they both live less than two miles from her,  and both need to make only two turns to get there.  God give me strength.

 Fred refused to let Neil take over with the directions and quickly became a very distracted driver, getting in the turn lane where he should not make a turn. “No!”  We said, “This is not the turn!”  But Fred proceeded into the turn with two cars bearing down on us from the opposing line of traffic.  I felt my life flash before my eyes because I was on the side of the car that would be hit.  Luckily, as we yelled “Watch out!”  Fred stopped.

Eventually we got back on the correct route, and with Neil’s help from the back seat, via the blue tooth, Ron got to the guard house at Indian Springs.  Still on his phone, Ron asked, “What’s Carol’s last name?”
“Falkowski!”
“Kowski? How do you spell that?”
“No! FALKOWSKI! Fred answered. “F as in Fred, A as in asshole, L as in Larry…”

By the time we got to the guard house, Ron and his wife had passed through somehow and found Carol and Tommy’s house.  We got there too and also safely home, but never again, I say, never again.

Painting Class

This winter I took an advanced watercolor painting class at Old School Square which is an art school open to adults in the community.  Charles Passarelli was the instructor. We met for three hours one morning each week for eight weeks and completed four paintings.  Each picture was complex and detailed, and, successively, each one was more challenging than the last.
Starting with the English cottage, the instructor's emphasis was on color and technique.  He chose the subject, gave us a photo to reference, and a drawing to trace.  Chuck demonstrated for about half an hour then gave us time to paint during which he walked around and commented on our paintings, repeating this process for the duration of the class.  Not only is he an extremely talented artist, but he is also a gifted teacher.  He was both kind and generous with his comments and critiqued each one of the finished paintings in our 15-student class.  As if that wasn't enough, he also has a great sense of humor and cracked jokes constantly while painting. 
The second painting was a still life with a variety of textures: a stucco wall, a window in partial shadow, a rough-hewn wooden bench, and--most difficult of all--a pewter pot.  I learned so much doing this painting.

English Cottage

Still Life with Pewter Pot

Sail Boat





The third painting was a large sail boat which was back lit by the setting sun.  The boat and rigging were extremely detailed.  We even used a sail slope to put the lines sewn into the sails. I think this one is my favorite of the four because it required so much color mixing and technique to achieve the effect of the sunset behind the boat.

 The final painting was a portrait of the teacher's granddaughter, and of course, painting people is the ultimate challenge. I wanted to ask Chuck if he thought it was easier to paint someone you know well or a total stranger, but his demonstration lasted most of the class, and I did not get the chance.

Mr. Fix-It Strikes Again

My husband and I still have the same bedroom furniture that we got when we were first married.  Okay, we've replaced the mattress twice.  It is campaign style with brass inset drawer pulls--very seventies.

Original Drawer Pull

So it was not very surprising that when I tried to open a drawer today, the drawer pull came off, broken beyond repair.  I said, "Time to buy new bedroom furniture."

"Oh, no, my husband said.  "I can fix it.  Do you need anything at Lowe's?"

I thought, isn't that sweet?  He thinks he can replace a 44-year-old drawer pull.  Well, I appreciate his willingness to try, but this is NOT going to happen.  There is NO WAY that he can replace a brass inset drawer pull from the seventies.

A few hours later, Neil came home and took his Lowe's purchase into the bedroom.  About five minutes later he came back out with a big smile and said, "It's fixed!"

Really?  I was shocked.  I ran into the bedroom to the dresser, my heart filled with hope, and this is what I saw.

Get ready...

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

Wait for it.

New Drawer Pulls

Like I said, "Time to buy new bedroom furniture."

 

Whose yard is it anyway?

Photo by Bill Parke

 

We have lived in this house for thirty-one years--the longest time I have lived anywhere.  However, I understand that we are only the caretakers of this house and land.  Others preceded us and many more will follow. Pennsylvania (Penn's Woods) was aptly named; it was William Penn's little corner of Colonial America.  In his day, a squirrel could probably jump from tree to tree across the entire state.  Today, though, Lancaster County is largely farmland with a good share of suburbia and a small central city.

 

Our neighborhood is called Hilltop Farm for the farmland that was originally carved out of the forest.  The soil is rich and fertile.  We have a 12'x 24' backyard vegetable garden on a one-quarter acre lot, and behind our yard, our neighbors have a 5-acre plot.  Needless to say, it is a haven for wildlife, and I have to respect their right to be here as much as ours.  We like to sit on our screened-in porch and watch all the activity surrounding our two bird baths, three bird feeders, and three birdhouses.  We also have two apple trees and a peach tree that are dedicated to the wildlife.

 

The above photo shows a doe that came to visit our 4th of July weekend cookout.  Those of us who sat on the porch watched as a deer, munching on fallen apples, came closer and closer while gazing at us humans in the "cage."

 

We have a fat little ground hog living in our yard and lots of baby bunnies.  Untold numbers of chipmunks and squirrels dash about.  Frequently they dash into our garage to see if they can access the birdseed container.  Since they gnawed through two plastic containers, we now have the birdseed in a heavy-duty metal can.  I could almost hear them saying, "Hey, you're no fun!" when that appeared.

 

We have wrens living in the bird houses and robins nesting in the rhododendrons.  Blue jays and cardinals like the apple trees, and American goldfinches munch on the beet greens. Hummingbirds love the bee balm. The feeders attract finches, nuthatches, an occasional woodpecker and a pair of doves among others.

 

By now you can see that it is getting a little crowded in our small yard.  Yet it is a peaceable kingdom.  We fenced in the garden to save the veggies for us and left the fruit trees and the blueberries for the others along with a constant diet of birdseed.

 

Years from now, when we are long gone, descendants of the robins and bunnies and squirrels will still be coming to this little piece of land.  So, as we mow the lawn and tend the flower beds, I often ask myself, "Whose yard is it anyway?'

 

Annual Garden Report

Help!  I need a machete!

Everything is just di-VINE in our garden this year. 

Things were going along quite smoothly until we left town for a week.  Neil had reduced the number of plants to something quite manageable for two people.  We had just enough beets, onions, carrots, and it looks as if we will have the perfect number of tomatoes and peppers.  I have already made seven strawberry rhubarb pies.  There is plenty of rhubarb left, but the rhubarb behaves itself quite nicely in the corner of the garden.

The green beans are problematic only because Neil mixed bush plants with pole beans.  The pole bean vines are strangling the bush beans, but I've managed to save enough for us to eat, and they are delicious.

While we were out of town, the four vine plants EXPLODED in size after a fair amount of rain and warm weather.  We were already up to the gills with cucumbers and zucchini--I made zucchini bread, zucchini muffins, zucchini pie, zucchini fries, zucchini stir fry, and zucchini bake.  And yes, I am that woman who brings a bag of zucchini to every event.   Now the cucumber and zucchini plants are  intertwined with the butternut squash and the pumpkins.  Seriously, the squash has gone viral and is taking over our 12x24 foot garden plot.  I keep hacking it back and cutting it off the fence, so it won't become an entrance ramp for varmints.  As you can see, everything has run together and looks quite healthy.  Normally, by this time of the summer, a vine-killing mold cuts short the life of some of these plants.  Where is the mold when we need it most?

If that doesn't happen, I'm seriously hoping for a drought or a plague of locusts.

Stenciled Sea Life

Brother Fish

Fl

Flamboyant Flamingo

I learned a new technique this year from Pat Kaufman, my Delray art teacher.  I call it stenciled sea life.  The idea is to paint a fish or other sea creature in watercolor paints with enough intensity to be able to remove paint with a sponge and stencil to create a pattern never before seen in nature.  What fun!  I am seriously addicted to this art form. Here are some of my best efforts:

Love at First Sight

 

Mama and Baby Manatee

 

Sea Turtle